Sunday, January 26, 2014

Hypothetically Speaking / How to kill a man with a time machine

So, you've created a wormhole
Let's say, because we're friends and we're just joking about, that I want to kill a man.
And that I have a time machine.
Now, I'm not going to get into why I want this guy dead, but let's just assume that when he buys it, my name may be mentioned.
I'm also not going to get into how I got a time machine. That's not important. People may be aware that such things exist, though, so I need to cover my tracks. I'm not the only guy with one of these things, you know.
You haven't got one?
They're great. Get one. I know this guy...
I need to kill a guy.
I could just use the time machine to arrange for a water right alibi. It wasn't me, officer, I was shaking the President's hand at that exact moment in front of 300 people, no less.
But that won't work.
Other people have time machines. They can solve murders now just by going back and watching it play out.
I could make it look like an accident. Arrange for some natural disaster to occur, or, better yet, arrange for the guy to be somewhere at the precise moment a natural disaster occurs.
That's pretty good. Could be a bit hard to arrange, though. Not many volcanic eruptions in my town.
So, what if I used the time machine to establish a false identity, amass funds through gambling and investments and hire a hit-man to off the guy?
That's better.
Then, what if I did this multiple times so that I could hire multiple assassins. Then if any time police try to stop the successful assassination, there's instantly a replacement attempt that takes place.
This solution also means that each killer will have a different MO, making each attempt difficult to predict and counter. Plus, they're trained professionals, adept at not getting caught.
So the guy gets shot. Or his car is blown up. Or he's poisoned. Or stabbed in the street. Or has his brake lines cut. Or is smothered in his sleep. Or has a building dropped on him.

The possibilities are endless.